There's nothing like a spiritual flu to come and bite you on the bottom after a blissful retreat and a couple of high flying weeks! I'm not going to lie, this last few days has been tough. I've had some massive headaches and a deep cough with a couple of days with one of those noses that feels like you've traded yourself in for life as a tap.
I felt pretty darn crappy. Low energy. Real pain. You get the picture. It was really really hard to feel anywhere near buoyant. Still, knowing that complaining wasn't going to get me anywhere, I kept telling myself I was only a tiny tweak away from a completely different frequency and the experience of pure health again.
But it didn't work.
The more I resisted my fatigue, and tried to push my way through the normal events of the week, the more I struggled. So I decided to go and crash out on the bed and rest. What followed was NOT peace and warm fuzzies. It got worse.
My mood dropped and I hit a low ebb. I started feeling really sorry for myself. My mind started to twist things and make out that I was a compete failure in every facet of life!
Wow. I wasn't expecting that.
So I guess it's that thing isn't it, of acknowledging where you're at and allowing yourself to FEEL what's going on. Ordinarily, we have such resistance to facing what lurks beneath. We really don't want to know what inner demons we might find! I'd opened the flood gates and allowed the torrent of emotion to flow from me, which it did.
The only thing for it was my trusty go-to tool - visual journalling. I write and write and write and do scratchy little doodles and rough drawings to EXPRESS and COMMUNICATE what needs to emerge.
What usually happens is that by the third or fourth page, once I've purged all the stuff I want to say on paper, there's space. Space for something new to enter.
And it did.
A new perspective, a new feeling, and a new word..... MODIFY.
I had a beautiful realisation that I had lost faith and that word modify, allowed me to accept the low ebb and rather than try and make my reality of feeling go away, I decided it would be far kinder to m-o-d-i-f-y.
In real terms, it meant a much shorter daily walk, earlier bedtimes, lots of warm drinks and asking for help where I needed it.
It seems such a simple thing doesn't it. And perhaps not really post-worthy, but I felt that it was important to share with you that we ALL struggle sometimes. And that in that struggle is an opportunity and a gift; to modify our experience with a little mindfulness and a little love.
With the silly season upon us, it might be worthwhile to take this word and its gentleness with us and intentionally modify things to bring greater ease and flow to life.
Thankfully I'm now at the tail end of my cold and very excited for our last week of MYSHA groups for the year!
and ON THURS, 17TH JANUARY, there will be a
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