Community. Where would we be without it?
This world can be pretty lonely, despite the fact that many of us, myself included are surrounded by people much of the time.
When my beloveds are off doing their thing and I'm working from home trying to get through my list of to-do's, I can sometimes feel really quite lonely.
Each day I take my sweet fur-bag (aka Chloe the Cavalier) for a morning walk and arrive back home to my list and whilst she is a gigantic love dog, she sleeps a lot and doesn't talk much.
I want (and long) to be productive in my day and in my heart's work, but sometimes loneliness is like a deep cut that keeps biting at my consciousness. It says, hey I know you're busy and you can try and get on with being preoccupied, but I'm just going to remind you that right now, you're in a bit of pain. Right. Now. You. Are. Lonely.
My smart thinking brain reasons, "What? Don't be silly Melissa. You're surrounded by a loving family and community. A few of them actually. And they're filled with amazing and totally beautiful people who love you for who you are!" Yet the deep sting of loneliness penetrates my wakeful heart and tells me there is something wrong!
The thing is, I think we live in such a busy world that we, as a people have unwittingly engineered daily life to be separate from each other. In an attempt to remedy the situation, we can jump online and start engaging in communities, even live chats and things there, and yet STILL feel separate and maybe not a-lone, but nevertheless still loneLY.
This feeling can undermine my productivity and my overall wellbeing in all manner of ways! Feeling separate from where the "real" action is or having the belief that "it's all happening, just not where I'm at" or even, "no one actually really wants to be around the real me" are all thoughts and beliefs which thwart our flow and our ability to serve.
So what do we do?
How do we deal with this?
I think the tendency as I began to touch on so far, is to distract ourselves. To get on with things. We live in such a fast paced world that it's easy to find a few things to take our focus and before we know it the day is almost done and then the next and the next.
So my first point would be to slow down and acknowledge the truth of what's inside. In other words, stop trying to ignore what you authentically feel.
The next thing is that somewhere in my consciousness, I am aware that we are not separate. Life connects us. We are connected on so many levels. The air we breathe, the water we drink, the earth which nourishes us, this planet we ALL inhabit together. We are one race of people. One enormous family all sharing the same home. And that's just the physical "us", then there is the spiritual "us".
However you like to imagine what that means,
we are all ONE.
So how does any of this really help with my feelings of loneliness?
The answer to that unfolds my greatest piece of discovery as a human soul hybrid being.
Okay hang on "A what?" I hear you asking. Okay, so we are all human, no one is doubting that. And if you're reading this, you probably believe we all have a soul, right?
Now, the human being has a finite existence, yet the soul is the part of ourselves which is boundless. It's that part of yourself that remembers the events of your life and is there to witness it all. So essentially, we are a soul having a human life experience for a short time.
So as a soul, where do I fit? THIS is the big picture question from which I believe our authentic loneliness stems from!
The very fact that we have this amnesia about who we really are, where we come from and where we're at in terms of our soul experience makes it pretty lonely here! This is why we can feel a deep and irrefutable sense of belonging and love from our families, yet on some deeper level still feel separate. So rather than fly through life with a sense that all this is a glorious experience to explore and have the most fun while we can, we're actually feeling a little too scared to make any big moves because we don't know what's gonna happen when the show's over!
So this can mean we're clingy, we're often fearful and we haven't really got a clue where we've come from and nor do we have any idea what all this life stuff is for.
This is where spiritual connection comes in and it's my greatest loneliness hack.
Two words: group meditation.
Nothing attends to that lonely, separate part of my being better than sitting in mindful connection with a group of likeminded people and setting intention to meditate together. It happens in an instant when we all tune in to the space we share, the air we all breathe, the feeling of togetherness of BEING in the present moment all at the same time. And more than this, the knowledge that we all essentially want the same things: to feel loved, secure and to experience life in a fulfilling and connected way.
In this, even though we can be having a personal and unique experience in the room, with our eyes closed, we are cognizant of the shared reality of being together. Even better, when we complete the meditation, open our eyes and reconnect to our multi-sensory three dimensional lives to see and feel that we are surrounded by others who have just experienced the same thing! The sharing that follows is rich and supportive because we are in such a loving, connected, present and coherent state.
The feeling truly is that of many hearts beating as one whole. Loneliness in this moment, becomes a thing of the past!
So if a sense of connection and togetherness is something that you have been seeking, please consider joining one of my groups, at the MYSHA HeARTSpace, for a shared meditation practice that may just be the answer you're seeking.